So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
