Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
