What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
where are you?
Hypothermia
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize