everyone is single if you try hard enough
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
