Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
