but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
