I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
