He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
