About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
