I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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