She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
