So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I supernannyed him into submission
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
