he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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