My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
