Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
