HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
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