I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
