she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize