Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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