I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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