I got chris browned last night
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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