the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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