idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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