Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It's rum buckets o'clock
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
