farters have to be the big spoon...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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