using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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