Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
smell my finger.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
