i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize