Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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