Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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