Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
