shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just sent this text using only my big toe
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
