I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You are a genius and a whore.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
