It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
This is the high leading the old right now
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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