My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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