Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
