and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
