you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
