So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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