Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
