I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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