We're like a lot better than the average bears
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
