ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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