God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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