you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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