please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
