Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
