Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
whose ass print is on the piano?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
