He asked me if I "almost moaned"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
