There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize