is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
