Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything

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(563): View more from Iowa

My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.

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(425): View more from Washington

we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over

(1+44): View more from

Wet with either fear or sexual excitement

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I think a mixture of both is appropriate

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(360): View more from Washington

OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!

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(813): View more from Florida

She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.

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