I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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