That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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