Sacagawea was the original milf.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
