My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
