so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
