No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
