I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
