What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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