We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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