Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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