i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
