her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My bed smells like the plague
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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