Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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