Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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